hello uncle dell! i hope u r readin this! still wondering how u got to this blog haha. how is life, hanging out at coffee joints and chasing speedy around in ur backyard? hope he does not trample all over the vegetables u grow :)

some ppl may know that I have been staying back to study in sch. thank you for all your concerns. I stay back in sch to study with my frens.

presentations are over. still got 1 more project and 1 more presentation due. tmr is teh last day of sch. and i will be in uni year 2! time sure flies past.

from sec sch to jc, i guess i din need much fitting in. however, from jc to uni, i needed quite a bit of time to settle down. right now, i guess i can safely say i have a few groups of frens, who are more than just hi-bye friends. some of us jus became frens. yet within a short time, we became real good frens, talk ing abt anything. mb it could be due to smubs. mb due to other reasons. i dunno. others have survived with me for 2 semesters la. we going to survive thru summer term too. we may bicker and quarrel. we may be concern abt our frens and try to patch up strained relationships, esp at this period of the semester when everyone is super stresed up. but all our actions stem from good intentions.

and yes. my frens have classified me as gullible. i prefer to think of it as trusting. got tricked/sabo-ed in class one morning. whole class laughed. and the story spread far and wide. so yup, ppl think they can trick me now haha. ignorance is bliss. why grow up so fast? peter pan in never-never land

so many thigns have happened. was swept by a wave of nostalgia a few days back. haven't felt like that for a pretty long time. perhaps it went missing. yet when it returned, it came back with twice the dosage.

Hey girl - Click 5 Hey girl,I wanna catch your wave Hey girl,I wanna drift away with you Hey girl,you've got an undertow Hey girl,hey girl, don't wanna let you go

Hey girl,I wanna catch your waveHey girl,I wanna drift away with youHey girl,you've got an undertowHey girl,hey girl, don't wanna let you go

Hakuna Matata

Hakuna Matata
It means no worries
For the rest of your day
it's our trouble free
philosophy
Hakuna Matata

Jus when I was complaining, hh came up with this Hakuna Matata. think there is a similar phrase in Lilo and Stitch right? Aloha? Ohana? means no one is left out?

I really dowan to leave ppl out. and i hope my fren will not be angry with me anymore. sometimes, it just takes a little more effort to maintain a friendship. When the going gets tough, I am sorry I start to cut slack for myself, perhaps even hampering the progress of ppl ard it. been witnesing it ard me.

thank you to my frens, who are alwasy there to help me. Was chatting with big ryan not ryan melon oops) and we were talkign abt how when the going gets tough, the level of maturity shows. i really enjoy talking to him. becos he is a really big teddy bear.

sleeping at 330 in the morning somehow is not as bad as irritable sleep. tho i have to come back and replenish my slp after a day in sch. haha.

and yes for sariputtians, got impt msg for u. if u haven't been to sariputta blog, pls go there now! =) gonna be exciting upcoming times

was in sch on a sun. with my best fren of cos. show u wat this sweetish gal sent me. siu, hope u don't mind me posting it:

THE LOLA SONG
Some say Coke, some say Qoo
I am talking about Lola Foo
I think she is very the nice
And her IQ is bigger than her eyes

Exams are coming so I sing this song
BGS is going ar, going, gone
One more week left of stupid school
Brains already turn to cotton wool

Last time to mug and pia and chiong
Do it for cutish, Prof Leong
Though the next week will seem damm long
Think of how you zhou lu hui you feng
Last verse now, what can I sayJ
ust be happy and bright and ga
yCan count on two hands, left a few more day
Just do it man, don't play play!!

Heehee,Siu2

btw, this sweeetish gal is my smubs vp. see the crazy things smu ppl do? haha thanks a lot gal!

today in sch, we had a thought-provoking session (wat's new?) we talked abt love, family, abortion. sq is jus the positive optimistic guy while i was a bit more cynical and skeptical. however, i did think hard abt all that we talked abt. and i think that ultimately children matter. dunno why i m thinking abt such stuff now, but whether or not they are deformed, retarded, they will bring a family closer. that is if u have the financial, the commitment and the love i guess.

and my $1,000,000 question: would u abort a baby if it is found to be deformed or retarded? if u are a guy, and ur wife does not want to abort but u want to, will u still insist on aborting?

Happy 21st birthday Alvin Liew Shixiong! cannot bully small gals anymore hor...

jus came back from sx's 21st birthday bash at downtown east chalet. It was nice, as so many ppl snuggled onto teh beds, played snakes and ladder, and lindy, ryan, cherie and I ended at the rejects' table. Hwee came along and asked if we wanted to go meditate at changi beach. ended up ryan, amanda,lindy, cherie and i packed into hwee's ah beng mitsubishi and trooped down to changi beach. must saythat the changi bungalows are pretty packed on a saturday. There was even one bungalow with all malays and they boomed like their prayers i believe.

The moment we arrived, one cat came to us. However, throughout the half and hour we were there, it did not pounce on any of us. the waves were nice to listen. there were planes above us, speedboats before us. and teh waved jus kept splashing, as if it had been splashing all tehse years, regardless of whether we were there to witness it.

my house is in a mess. mess of clothes, mess of books, mess of people, mess of feelings. but i m not even home most of the time! think today i will get down to clearing my stuff, doing my Creative Thinking journal and go for sx's bday party.

1 more week of sch, then study break, then exams. can't wait for exams to be over. really wanna resume my smubs. so many activities to do.

as for my family, i dunno how to motivate my brother. seriously. he must be good in sth. why not channel his energy to studies? jus for the next half a year to go. if he does not, then we have to bear all the nonsese taht arise because of us who are concerned abt his studies. everyone is concerned. yet everyone displa their concern different and may end up hurting each other.

and bgs meeting. enough of bgs pls. i m sick of sch. sick ofbgs. life does not revolve ard bgs. it is one of the 40+ modules i have to take at smu. i dowanna think anymore. i need some peace and quiet in my life. pls. return me the quietness in my house.

i know i cuold be doing sth abt it, rather than whining. that is why i stay in sch to study. but then this is my house! i have to be awakened by the most unpleasant voice in the morning, fussing over me and my breakfast.

last night, i jus felt an annoymous wave of anger in me. i was not even allowed abreath or a sigh in my house. everyone is jus preoccuppied in their little cocoons. we need to open up. and spread the love. in our lives. wat is life abt really?

been in a business sch has made me want to think alot, esp now. Instead of simply understanding how alpha and beta amylopectin coil, or th helical structural held together by hydrogen bonds, I m learnign abt human relationships. whether you are in business, accountancy, economics, social science, it is all abt human relations.

my best fren WL says i m disiullusioned. I don't think so. ppl like hh will say i m too inexperienced to be disillusioned. was doing the creative thinking 1000 word journal due next week. was throwing up ideas for sq. all the subjects i raise, i can only link to the society creating a void within our selves. this void cannot be filled by grades, material possessions. so what if u attain ur goal? so wat if u fail? sometimes u don't get a second chance. mb this void cannot be filled up. or this void is beyond life and death.

think abt it: blogging is a way of expresssing one's opinions. why not write it in a diary? mb it is a form of exhibitionism. why do ppl like to publicise their thoughts? maybe they feel they are not getting attention. why do ppl feel that they are not getting enough attention? maybe the rat race, teh reality is robbing them of their identity, creating a void in this fragile soul.

i like the idea of prostitution being a form of commoditising our bodies. more importantly, wat struck me was that we as students are commoditising ourselves, packagin ourselves, with our a levels, bachelors, to promote ourselves to our prospective employers. and the fact that employers are finding it hard to call in ppl for interviews is because we are geting too similar. we are losing our identity. this is akin to us forming a queue behind a washing machine, taking turns to brainwsh ourselves VOL:UNTARILY as a daily ritual. or like teh oven, where good cookies are ackaged nicely whereas the burnt or deformed ones are simply dumped into the bin.

I m losing it here man. but to update abt my life. today i was in sch the whole day la. supposed to meet sq at 10am. i was lae, but he was even later. haha went for lunch with sj, ss, hh, chris.and chris the handsome has his chritopher-the-great blog! congrats haha. then study. bgs meeting. study. exciting life huh?

tmr will have MA. going for lesson jus to support ryan's grp presentation tmr. tmr's lesson not tested and my frens encouraged me not to go. but still go la. then eat lunch alone :( then AS. then ISP shanghai briefing. hope i can go for this trip in june. then go for CT meeting. then watch free movie in sch with siu. time to relax.

and i wanna sign up for the IMF/World Bank thing as an usher! anyone, pls sign up with me!!!!!

I am really glad that a presentation that I have dreaded over the past 12 weeks is finally over. though it was not exactly the most brilliant presentation, I am just relieved. going for celebratory dinner with my kakis later. in sch. must describe more abt our bgs presentation. we had interesting dissuants. the only chinese is mr. benson phua, ceo of esplande and sentosa (i believe). 2 angmohs. 1 was an investment guy. 1 was working in Phillips. interesting. they were nice. din slam us even tho we were really bad. need to do more home work is a good way of saying we need to research more. I kinda knew it long ago. however, i procrastinate. I was prepared to give up on bgs le. it is probably 1 of the 40+ modules i have to take in smu. however, I need to grab this opportunity and make good out of it. this presentation is not graded, tho it prob gives prof an impression. however, our report is 40% of our bgs marks. hence, we need to work hard! =) come on! it is sth that is within our control! =) trying to keep my spirits high. seriously. finally =)

well, haven't been updating for a while. exams are nearing. and everyone is just not feeling good. i m glad i have frens. in sch and in sbm and my bestest frens.
some ppl jus have the capability to feel good and happy all day long. i will aim myself towards that. not that i m not happy or anything :) i m always happy =) haha
been provoked into thinking a lot recently. like how have i changed after becoming involved in sbm. what has impacted my life or affected my outlook of life. if u have been thinking abt such things, and you have an answer for urself, that is good :)
i m always happy :) and i really enjoy the sincere happiness laughters of michelle, jiayi, lindy, selina, winglam, huiyi, meiyin, and so many ppl. u know it when someone is really sincere when laughing and someone who is faking. but even if one is faking, he/she is prob trying his/her best to fake.
sometimes, we may hurt others when we care too much. does that mean we stop caring? maybe we should care from other angles/ perspectives. what ever we do, just knwo in ur heart we do because we care for each other, even though we may come with diferent agendas.
as for my study buddies, thanks for being there durig exam period. think it is important for us to be there for each other. like dinner. like being driven ard. eating teochew porridge =) i guess this gives a balance to our life.
As for frens i haven't seen, i think effort has to be effected from all parties. sometimes meetign face to face is better than the face-less MSN.
don't worry. it is jus the period of the semester. when the semester is over, in 4 weeks, all these will probably seem so insignificant when i look back :)

well. tired. good day. thought provoking. random emotions and feelings.

I am currently sitting in a Management Accouting lesson, listening to a business plan selling guitars, awaiting MA quiz. It has been a busy week, and I am going to end off the week with an Analytical Skills presentation this afternoon. All of SBMY is at retreat now. Wish I could go.

Monday

was home with grandma. my little nephew of 8 months came. he is so cute! he does not cry nor bug u or beg for attention. he simply plays ard, rolling ard on the mattress, and putting anything he can lay his hands on into his mouth, as he is teething. was doing BGS research.

Tuesday

had Creative Thinking with Margaret Chan. We visited an Indian/Hindu temple, Sri Krishna Temple. It is the one at Waterloo St, near sch. Margaret was telling us stories of Lord Ganesh. My fav story is the one where God of Wealth threw a party to flaunt her wealth and invited Lord Ganesh's mum. Lord Ganesh's mum sent her little son, but warned God of Wealth that he eats non-stop. Not surprisingly, he ate all his food, ate other ppl's food, ad started eating the plates. God of Wealth ran to find his mother and his mother gave her some rice grains to feed him. After eating those rice grains, Lord Ganesh was full! Moral of the story: Material wealth is nothing if we do not plant/sow seeds of goodess in ppl.

stayed in sch lib till 11pm. found out my BGS presentation is next week instead of week after! That sets all the gears rolling!

Wednesday

had econs in the morning. first thing in the morning when i went to my inbow, there was the email I have been waiting for for 2 weeks!!! the email of approval to use our sch's address for our application for SMUBS!!! YAY! now can send in the application finally. and await 2 months for their approval =)

speaking of which, my frens actually tried to ask if there were alternatives to "B-S", which they think is an international acromyn for Bull. ANy suggestions?

Thursday

spent my day at home again, studying for Fri's MA quiz and AS presentation. 'then my little nephew came with his elder sis, who is coming to 2 years old. babies are so cute. if only they don't grow big. attachment.

Friday

now. MA quiz. AS presentation. gonna be studyig with ss, sq and sj in sch.

Saturday

BGS mtg. for our BGS presentation on wed

Sunday

cancelled my piano lesson. in case need to meet for BGS. if not, STUDY!

Wednesday

this is the day i m looking forward to. after my BGS presentation. no more stress. no more readings.

I am worried abt my results tho. I don't speak up in CT. din do well in biz law presentation. din do well for BGS quizzes or MA quizzes. and AS individual assignment and our presnetation today. there are so few things within our control. i want to get over wed, then look forward to end of week 13, then exams, then start going to our sch's fishtank gym.

and yes. MA project due this sun. haha =)

sometimes, we just cannot work with the people we want, or we like, or just people who work the same way as you do. so if you get to work with people you like, you should be grateful. only when you see the dark will u appreciate the bright. now that presentations are piling up, must appreciate people ard me even more. for they have been tolerant of all my nonsense. time to grow out of it =) happy retreat!

well well. had a very interesting wekkend.
went to Aingapore Arts Museum with siu and sq on fri evening. it is free admission after 6pm on Fridays. so to save on $1.50 on each of us, we waited between 3.30pm to 6, slacking in kiliney and watching funny movie clips. haha. we also handed in consent forms to ms chen, and raised our right hands crossing the road haha

SAM was fun. din have a chance to view all the paintings when we came for Creative Thinking class. the last time we started from the abstratc/cubism art. it was refreshing to start deom a different section. i think i don't like cubic art more than realistic art. jus me. i like definite stuff. not blurred stuff.

then tried to study after that. siu was rushing her biz law report in 1.5 hours. sq was trying to study w/o falling asleep.end up talk a lot of rubbish.

SJ call me a pangseh-er, cos i can't go for m'sia trip, which he initialy told me was grfom 30 may to 2 july. the real one is 30 june to 2 july. i don't wanna spend my bday overseas! haha anyway, i jus pangseh them on sat night, cos i was at sbm for MOAT trainig. lack discipline. but it was fun. an i won't be going for retreat. so this is rprob the best time to learn the dance.

sat morning went for meeting. glad we met up and discuss la. 5 heads better than 1 head, many SMS-es and MSN. went for SMU OPen House Social Science talk. it was a good talk. because it was not so much of selling the school, but more of like the job prospects out there, and how the speakers' education in social sci/economics, anthropology, sociology, has helped them to think, learn and integrate themselves in their business, journalism, politics and education. our speakers were Mdm Lin-Ho Geok Chin, MP for West COast GRC i believe;Ms Claire Chiang, prob could be one of my idols; 2 profs and Mr. Rcio, news anchor at BBC world. Each of tehm presented a good talk. Mdm Lim-Ho on the real facts out there in Singaproe, what employers want; Ms Chiang on corporate social responsibility; and mr. Rico on how his education in journalism, biz and econs had carved a niche for himself. He started out as a coffee boy for editors. finally 20 later, he is with a world-premiere news station.

It also set me thinking what sort of working life i want. i will have to seek out more options and people's opinions.

then went to sbm. as usual, sbm was a fun place and time to spend. sariputtians are addicted to folding lotuses! law and kaiyi shared many stories on buddha after he gained enlightenment. I twas good. my fav is upali. he is so cute! haha

for Creative thinking next week, we are going to sri krishna temple. believe it is the one next to si4 ma3 lu4 guan1 yin1 miao4. interesting.

today, 3 of my fish died. i think many of my fish have died before. yet today, i felt something for my 3 fish which had died. i think mb in the past, my parents would simply dump the dead fish while i was in sch and i nve got to see them being taken out of thej tank and thrown away. yet today, my brother and i tried to revive the fish. we got buckets of water and tried to change water for tehm, not not as proficient as my mum. 2 of the lying fish revived, tho 3 still died.

had my first smubs meeting. nice to see 7 ppl turn up & of cos Hwee koko =) basically we went through our proposal, focussing on the activities we will be doing. most of the people we approach will first ask what activities we intend to do. and we showed them our Ehi-Passiko camp video and Vesak Day @ Orchard video. Must say it is a good fire of letting us see for ourselves what the camp is really like, instead of simply by narration or 'hearsay' (from me that is)

well, now is like the period of time when school work is piling, presentations are coming, reports due, and of cos exams. i m not sure if i shd meet them weekly or wait till exams end le then officially start. that will be 6 weeks from now. still waiting to hand up my ROS application. waiting for ONE letter. and that process of application will take 2 months.

mb will bring everyone down to SBM once. hope to make it a monthly/bi-monthly thing? my secretary is going to plan for temple visits (otherwise fondly refered to as temple-hopping) sbm can go thru whole puja, meditation, and see our clowns entertain us for free.

oh ya, currently, we have 12 members. hopefully they will grab more of their frens after seeing what activities we gonna do. tho i must say i think some ppl may not be comfortable with activities, like camps and stuff. simply here to learn abt buddhism and dharma. will have to sort that out and provide a comfortable niche. no worries :)

if u have frens coming to smu, ask them join smubs!

who are your friends? have you ever thought abt it? i mean hi-bye friends, close friends, good friends, best friends, very best friends, favourite friends? Do you remember during Primary 6, when you had to write in your friend's diaries things like "roses are red, violets are blue..."

I must say my closest frens are from my sec sch days. since sec 1. my closest best fren, who currently knows what happens to everything in my life even tho we are in different schools. she was the shortest in class and i was the tallest =) we call each other after each driving lesson and complain about all the mishaps and inconsiderate drivers. nonetheless, both of us passed. more importantly, i am glad our friedship survived for so long.

basically we have a clique of four ppl. me, WL, HY and MY. since sec 1. long way we have come. coming to 8 years. may our friendship last.

next, i had a grp of good frens in sec 3/4. they were all indons. we often hung out tog after exams. sometimes, they would all break into bahasa malayu and leave me blur. nonetheless, they will remmeber me and revert back to english. we are no longer in touch anymore, tho we have each other's msn. most of them are studying in US. nonetheless, we make an effort to meet up everytime they come back to singapore.

thirdly, more recently, i love my sariputta gals. even tho i m the eldest, i think they provide me with more support than i can ever provide for them individually. they allow us to care for each other, by letting each other get into our lives. it is not easy to get involved in one's life, especially if you have a defensive shield ard u. nonetheless, somehow there are no secrets among us.

fourthly, in my jc years, i have my bishan club aka TBA (Thomson Basketball Club). As much as i would like to relive those days, 2 years of JC is simply too short. and my prata cum ice cream gang - you know who u r- all those late nights, morning breakfasts..

fifthly, now in uni, i can consider to have my own "gang". we complain to each other a lot. to keep each other in the loop. we support each other in whatever we do. and my gang is going to form SMUBS. hehe

Jus had my MA presentation . over le. I enjoyed working with this group. I learnt to use Excel =) I also went shopping with my members in supermarket to get prices of vegetables. Our project is supposed to be a bar selling asian fast food. Fun. We came up with like char siew sandwiches with abalone sauce and wasabi.

Mum, thanks for waking up early to help me make 3 loaves worth of sandwiches for my project. Really really appreciate e ur support in whatever I do. Whether it is joining basketball, council, sbm, smu, doing project, u always help me out and nvr put me down. Like in pro sch art, haha, every year do art folio, I would have gotten a kiam chai file.

Got 50% for ma. Need to start studying. business law also. somehow this semester, i seem to be screwing up. no heart to study. not no time. econs. somehow i think i m the kind who studies from the picture and zoom in. so i have to wait till the big picture has been taught before i see the big picture and zoom in.

Went for Hwée koko's talk yesterday. even tho it was meant to cater to working adults, i think it was applicable in our daily lifes as well. i have been trying to wake up consistently at 645.
My frens in sch have been really stressed out after coming back from last week's break. A lot of it is regarding human relationships. not bgr. but like disliking ur grp mates.

On a happier note, it is the weekend! means time for studies =(

well, today's BGS lesson was a learning experience as usual. Today we talked about high trust and low trust countries. I was assigned Japan, which is a super high trust country. high trust or low trust does not equal to good or bad. it simply implies whether the citizens will trust strangers easily. so if i ask u whetehr u will trust a complete stranger u meet on teh streets and ask tehm take care of your wallet while utie your shoelaces. Will you?

reading the BGS readings is tough, and usually sleep-inducing. However, the discussion taht entails is often good and i enjoy it, though i don't speak much. my friends refuse to believe taht I am an introvert.

tmr wil be meeting sbm at awareness place! anyone has a (laser) pointer? pls msg me and lemme know.

fri i have a presentation. it is basically supposed to present a business plan. tmr is my first and only rehearsal haha. oh man. impromptu. just whack attitude.

today my friends attended FOrt Minor's concert. Wel the concert started at 8pm and my frens called me to tell me they had 4 free tickets! was tempted to go, but was already on the bus home. had to prepare for fri's presentation la. Haiz wasted

lindy was supposed to perform on fri at st andrew's for her school prefect investiture. however, the cathedral will be used for Justice Laí's funeral. so no more performance :(