stomach ache
backache
head ache

toothache?
heartache?

i need a new shell. a new identity.

then again, i like being myself. who else has such great family and friends and so many things in the right place?

haha one smart person once said, "only a person who is loved will know how to love other ppl",
headache

i m gettin old. and fat.

and i don't see a future. time for armaggedon.

good sunday morning.
can't sleep.
woke up and emailed kc.
then went to market with dad. dad is nice to talk to, most of the time. and so is mum. so we just talked abt giving up on studies haha. dad sometimes uses reverse psychology.

saw 3 wedding cars on teh road. all three were mercedes. one was accompanied by a honda accord; one by a PINK bmw (yes pink Be-My-Wife), and another was a solitary mercedes driving out of my estate. Tis the season to be married Far-la-la-la-laaaaaa la-la-la-la

i need my tea. i m tea addict. mb i din sleep well cos of tea yesterday. both teas yesterday tasted wierd.

saturdays are not meant to be spent in school.

i want to go swimming next saturday. if no twc mtg that is.

this week, ais and finance reports due. good. income ta report and finance presentation left. then EXAMS! *horor*

happy halloween.

don't i just complain incessantly abt the same few things?

alright everyone. weekend is here. week 10 is over. bring it on week 11.

andy lau is in sg. tank is in sg. S.H.E. is in sg. cool.

and this weekendis a busy at sbm. tmr's Chief Reverend's memorial service. Sunday is kathina day. i have to spend my sat in sch again. time to tie up projects. i will try to make it down on sunday.

and i had so much fun reliving and going thru all my SF photos with my frens. I realised i haven't shown my overseas photos to my frens! aiks!

and i jus want to say a big THANK YOU to ms chen siu siu, for enjoying a sugar rush and a long-awaited chit-chat session. no one ever told us the going would get so tough. and u have a dream. u see urself doing what u want to do. may your interest keep u going.

and to pui san, i will try to get starhub broadband over to u in uk. but in case i don't makeit before ur internet comes, don't piss over it anymore alright? thinkabt ur skiingin dec. so nice. i wish i could ski too....

to mr yeo, study hard, run hard, and live life even harder! may the force of the anakin skywalker (he is cute!) be with u!

and to my beloved brother, studyhard. the end is in sight for all of us. and the end is often the start of something else.

twc presentation

5 presentations today. my group is the fourth. no matter how much i tell myself i m not goign to get nervous over it, it just arises.

and i m sleepy and tired. how can i divert my energy to giving a presentation? but i guess when i go up there, i will.

thanks to everyone who has wished me luck.

and uncle dell, i m sure u would have passed the piano exam anytime. i wish u were my examiner. tho i think found some resemblance between 2 of u. perhaps that is why he let me pass :)

k list of things to do:
1. ???
2. swimming
3. shopping
4. running
5. playing my piano
6. passing my income tax
7. finishing my projects
8. scrapping my exams
9. ???
10. ?????????


i smell year end. sniff sniff.

twc presentation tmr.
ais mtg last night after ais lesson.
sorry kc if i pissed u off.
and sorry siu, think u din have dinner that is why u had that funny feeling again
sorry sq, for whatever last last many weeks before.
and sorry sj, for whatever all these while.

sorry to hwee as well, to dee, to mich
to jiayi for not attending ur dance performance.
to sel - been working hard and so many things to juggle.

as we get older, somehow we seem more accustomed to failure. like no big deal anymore.

good evening senor and senorita,

laura foo has passed her grade 6 piano exam. whee. congratulations.

the examiner was nice. and i thank everyone who has been praying for me.

cheers and kudos.

projects projects projects.

fat fat fat.

this morning, i met a gal called nina at macdonalds. she was really cute and played with us. She even showed off her sunglasses. nice to meet u nina.

those good old days in SF. was looking thru the photos yesterday. and somehow i had this nostalgic/deja vu feeling yesterday. when i landed in shanghai, i was excited. even more excited wen i landed back in sg airport. most excited when i landed in SF international airport. Whee! there was uncle dell and zeze waiting for us at the airport. We had landed in the land of freedom! America! Whoo! then eat and sleep and live comfortably.

golden gate bridge, fisherman's wharf.

i want to go work and travel in usa too. ahah. try our best alright?

time to start rushing for projects. chugga choo choo!

oh yes. the haze. is making us fat. cannot exercise outdoors. my eyes are irritated. i have sore throat. but i m glad i don't have asthma or respiratory problems.

Uncle dell and zeze, coming back to sg for chinese new year? this year's CNy is pretty late. mid feb.

alright. tmr marks the first paper for my brother. o level science practical. and he is memorising his cations and anions on the bed while i m typing this. all the best! i would impart some brain matter to u via al l the infra red ard us right now.

jay jay jay jay jay-ded

have u noticed how u can stare in the morning sun now? cos it is so freaking hazy.

and there is so much happening. and i hope everything is over before i have a chance to see it passing by. before i have a chance to breathe.

i have so much things to do, yet so much time. how come?

take things in perspective man.

congrats siu. i m so going to publicise ur good grade for coy law. congrats once again.

as for not-so-ideal results, i guess prof jusified our results by comparing with the standard she requires of us.

jay jay jay jay jay-ded

happy 18th october

i wish, i wish, i wish.
many wishes have come true. many have not too.

and now, i wish to open an art class. to learn how to draw flowcharts.

i wish to box something, someone.

i wish , i wish, i wish.

alright. back. no meeting. miscomm.

when my bro and i went to take bus to sbm, we were shrouded in the haze. yes, teh haze is scary. i can smell burnt smoke in my hair. horrible.

sk commented why i wear so informal to sbm. sbm shirt, berms and slippers. i guess after 3 camps, most ppl at sbm have seen the ugliest side of me.

and yes plenty of homework to do.

my brother takes good care of me. he makes sure i drink enough water :)

good morning to u on a sunday morning.

promise i will go fix up my tagboard when i m free. i do not know what is wrong. pls send me an email if u know what is wrong.

and i m going down to sbm today. soon. in a while. camp meeting at 1.

end of mid term break. my dad jus asked me how were my exams. how was my piano exam.
left one more AIS report to hand up tmr. by 12 noon. both hard and soft copy. at least there are 15 pages in line.

and then TWCwill come. haha I have really got the most 'hardworking' profs for all my sucject. and I have an exam for every single module. i dunno if u judge ur effort by the process or the outcome. but i guess a reasonable yardstick would be the outcome - our grades. then again, grades aren't everything, as i push aside every responsibility for my studies. at least we studied? hard enough?

been led by the nose by this education system for the past 13 years of my life. studying hard and getting good grades is one thing. yet whether u study hard or not, u will still reach the same destination. so why study?

fatalism is such a scary thing. fallacy.

it is saturday morning. and i m in school doing my twc project.

ais project is kinda over. siu is proofreading 15 pages of nonsense. as kc says: SISO. shit in, shit out.

me, siu and kc went to daiso yesterday. fun. and had carl's junior with kc, chris and sj.

and i have 2 days of mid term break left. finally. after a supposed mid term break.

and finance prof released results for all his finance classes. out of 193 students he has, only 8 got > 90. 42 got 80-89.5. i doubt i m in those bands. haha i m diving deeper and deeper into the rat race.

for twc, we have to do 3 case studies. google, barnes and noble and airbus. so exciting. much excitement over google and airbus recently. but my principal assigned project is barnes and noble. so exciting.

sch is certainly 'so exciting', if not for my friends :)

good morning.

today is thursday.

my mid term break is almost over. but this is the first day i m at home. nonetheless, at least there is no school.

study income tax. i m jus procrastinating my agony. heard this paper would be hard. doesn't give me a reason not to study, although i have been thinking what is the point of studying if it is gonna be hards. whether or not u study, high probability i can't do.

and why is my tag board not working? hmmm.

and yes google bought you tube. as well as all its legal lawsuits over copyright issues i guess.

smart ppl who came up with you tube. with all their laudes in tow.

and google prob has the money to pay and wind up all the lawsuits.

and google wants to buy facebook too. but that harvard guy still refuses to budge. prob semtimental value over business acumen. wants to be his own boss and not working for others.

oh google ah google. smart ppl's congregation. need an accountant? i will make sure no enron. i m too honest, being bred in sg.

i was disgusted by an uncle who littered on the bus last night. and it made me think about the cleaners who clean up our school and in my neighbourhood.

i was talking to this cleaning auntie in school one day.

laura: auntie what time do u end work?

auntie: soon. 4pm.

laura: wah auntie, so early ah. go home and rest

auntie: i have to come to sch at 6am. have to wake up at 4 am. very tiring.

and these aunties have a hard time mopping the floors, cleaning the toilets. don't blame them for using too much bleach to clean up. talk to them as often as possible.

and i got to know a security uncle in sch of biz. dunno if he knows me. but at least i say hi and good morning to him when i meet him.

and there are these aunties, no longer workers from bangladesh, who clear rubbish in my neighbourhood. the govt is outsourcing the cleaning jobs to private contractors. and sometimes i wish i have an opportunity to talk to this particular auntie, who walks ard briskly pushing the rubbish truck.

sometimes i feel sad when i see elderly folks still working at their age. no doubt singapore has an aging population. and the govt hopes to see self-reliance on our part to take care of ourselves. but with myself having back aches and all, i really admire these aunties and uncles who are still labouring, while we complain about how thw aircon is too cool, computer is too slow, no msn...

i m going into project overdrive!
help!

i m going to hibernate tmr. don't come near me. there is still income tax test on friday which i have not started revising.

and on friday, there is income tax class, which we missed to go attend a conference by the european commission. and then i have my twc meeting. argh. takes up so much time! and my part is not settled! and there is ais project!

do u think i complain abt the same few things? can't wait for monday

good morning everyone!

today is tuesday, 2nd day of the term break. it is quite refreshing that we don't have to attend lessons for a week. however, the frequency of going back to school has sharply increased. which equates to no mid term break. call that fully utilising our school's resources.

i have one more exam on friday. income tax. i don't know how i m going to compute income tax.

i must say i have been getting a lot of encouragement from sbm. from ang hwee, kaiyi, zeming, michelle, selina, lindy, jiayi, forrestor! and all the house captains as well.

sos. was talking to hh last night. one of those amiable conversations where we don't spice it up with sarcasm. and we concluded that we are not necessary happy when we smile. haha psycho right?

on the other hand, smiles and laughter are probably lacking in our lives today. all stucked in the vacuum called the rat race. expectations of us are everywhere. i can look forward to the end of this semester to discharge all the responsibilities of my current modules. but what can i look forward to when i start to work? all i see is the desert in nevada where boeing dumps their retired airplanes.

life is uncertain. death is certain. changes in life are so rampant. novelties wear off. we complain abt lack of expression, lack of freedom. yet we do not stop to smell the roses along the way. appreciate all the ppl whom we love and who love us. cliched as it might sound, with so many ppl who care for us ard us, shouldn't we be counting our blessings? erally very very tough. especially when we are stucked in the matrix.

so let's not let go of each other too quickly. look on the positive side of ppl and things. and smile off our worries.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.

So we've been told and some choose to believe it.I
know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.

What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell. We know that it's probably magic.
Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.I

've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

the haze is back!

is that a good thing or a bad thing?

i tried to convince sj that last night's 'smoke' was due to the kids in the neighbourhood lighting up candles and carrying their lanterns. apparently not. my mum says the visibility has been reduced to 2 cars' length. this coming from a driver indeed.

pros of the haze:
1. my mum volunteered to drive me to finance exam this morning. her rationale is to keep me indoors (aircon) as often as possible. think there was the exam factor too. and she wants to get those air purifiers, which i told her not to. but i think she will still get it for my grandma's sake. thankfully our family is healthy and no one has had any visible violent reactions/respiratory problems yet.

2. feels like genting, albeit the warm weather, according to sj

cons:
1. poor sq has to go ard with a mask, tearing with his eyes red and spinning head.
2. will u be more affected if u live on a higher floor or a lower floor?
3. smell of chao-ta aka burning smell

today also saw many ppl in my neighbourhood getting married. one from my block and one from the opposite block. my mum says the groom is like an ah beng - he and his bestmen behave like they have never worn jackets and suits before. haha. early in the morning the bestmen and the bridesmen were shouting from teh sixth floor to the car park. i could hear them while reading finance.

not forgetting last night, while i was studying qm, i could hear those noisy sparklers even though i was in an enclosed room. mid-autumn festival is getting noisier - with all the techno music lanterns and noise-polluting sparklers. btw, HAPPY MID AUTUMN FESTIVAL! i spent the night studying for finance. so did many of my fellow finance mates.

spent an early mid-autumn party with my frens. meant to help everyone relax, in the midst of all the projects and exams. thanks to all who attended, to sj, sq, lam, ryan, and thanks to siu for sponsoring the venue.

now i am on the roll for all the exams and projects. come baby come!

life is going to be packed until 16 oct when my AIS grp hands up our project.

by then, i would have
1. have my finance exam
2. coy law exam
3. income tax exam
4. AIS mtg(s)
5. TWC mtg(s)
6. finance mtg
7. income tax mtg

I am going to take 4 modules from now on. and take my own sweet time at graduating. but taking a longer time to graduate is more risky. so i will start taking summer terms. but even summers are limited. i think i m just useless. haha why oh why do i let these things get to me only now. i m not trying to reinforce these negative feelings in me. mb it is time to switch to a positive mindset. take things one at a time. and i cannot let my energy sap away. recharge recharge recharge

and yes hapy mid-autumn festival.

i will tick off the above 7 items as and when it gets over. so many mid-terms. next time read the course outline of the courses and the profs before bidding! haha

coy law presentation results out. income tax quiz results out.

need to get motivated to study. hmph. studying is much better than working. but it is still such a chore. taking one steps at a time now. my mum told me to work smart. think that is a little hard for me, cos i m such an idiot. need to empower myself and others. hmph.

sunday
woke up late. 10am. so no family breakfast. so much bread at home. i asked for french toast. and my mama taught me how to cook french toast. not bad. jus that i think we added too much sugar.

lionel's version of french toast with cheese is more savory.

read AIS. then my mama and i went to buy our traditional hainanese mooncakes for my granny. haha. my mum says it is the one and only shop to sell such Hainanese mooncakes anymore.

then mama also brought me to Balestier to buy my favourite tau sar pia. must let you all eat next time. but mama says must eat on the day it is bought. which is true. crispier. over night, it will be moister. taht is why i din buy many.

then went to thomson plaza and did my own grocery haha. no white paper to print, no contact lens solution, no jotter book. then came home.

granny jus ate 2 kueh, which my mama's fren made. think she is very full. alright, gg for piano lesson soon. after i dilly dally ard home for a while. need to start revising for finance exam. let's start tonight.