well, sundays are days to myself. somehow. i am having withdrawal symptoms. siu would understand what i mean. my horoscope (as on straits times today) says i shd have some time to myself, which i had today. an entire day devoted to - lo and behold - QM. Linear Programming, advertising exposure, product mix. argh. wadever.

thanks to my frens who tried to remove my inertia and jio me out. apologies for not inching out of my house today. thanks for offering to be my ah-meds. haha i want to go really. but i think i m a nuisance. bring so much trouble to everyone. to my parents, my lil bro, my friends, trying to force a song out of me, driving me home...

sometimes, i think when i go out, wat is the purpose of going out? social capital? i mean if i m going out because my frens are going out, that is probably a good enough reason for me to go out. but today, i took a step back and really pondered abt it. given the hoo-ha my dad kinda gave me (no it is not that he din let me out). i guess i have to be accountable to my granny and my lil bro too la. but basically i m jus finding excuses for myself. i m a pest. one who depends on too many people ard me. siu is definitely more indept than i m. hope you ppl have fun.

wasted yesterday. wasted today. jus when i always thought there were so much things to do, when the time is here, i jus waste it. idiotic me. my lil bro jus gave me a talk on life. if he wasn't so 'grown-up' already, i would actually call him cute. i think i m getting old.

i hope my bro gets to do what he wants. i dunno how many times i have said this. think i always put him down. but he always stands up for me. and i m proud of him. i hope i can help him achieve wadever he wants to achieve. i think i have to start with knowing what he wants to achieve,and understanding him. i think i m too egoistic. not ego as in conceited. but ego as in afraid to make fun of myself, of people scolding at me or laughing at me. my mum knows that. so she always says other people scolding me is a good thing. teaches me how to accept criticisms. i would love to do that too. but the feeling is almost unbearable for me.

i do not really like to talk on the phone, unless it is with people i m already familiar with. i guess this familiarity is bred thru constant exchanges over the phone. time to pick up the phone and get to know more abt my frens.

my one week worth of gym has been wasted on today's breakfast at coffeeshop, lunch, which was prepared by my lil bro, and dinner, which was left over from lunch, which was prepared by my bro. need to head to the gym again. read the papers today and there is a survey that only 1 in 10 women are contented with their bodies. and this 1 person is also the one who finds time to work out. haha hopefully i will stop aching so much and go for a real run someday soon. miss the fresh air in the morning. any badminton challengers?

what am i doing here updating my blog? shd be studying qm. and to all my frens at whichever ktv-s u r, really hope u r having fun.