as i try to get used back to real life, my mood swings like a pendulum. and there is nothing that shopping cannot cure, though i din go shopping today.

morning woke up to teh sound of the horrible construction drilling sounds in my neighbourhood. looked thru the photos i developed and shared them with my grandma. going to get photo albums to protect these memories.

went for lunch with sj and ying. even at 2pm, cine is -oh-so-dead-. then went to meet darling mich. she kinda gave me a brief update of everything i need to know that has happened over the past 3 weeks.

remember i was apprehensive abt my shanghai trip? thefirst reason was cos i was unsure of what i m goign to do there. another reason was that my routine life will be disrupted. and my worries have manifested.

then again, worries are often created by ourselved. and we tend to magnify our own problems and minimise other's problems. what are our problems compared to people suffering in poverty and war?

bought a book from awareness place today titled "Buddha and his Disciples". it is a comic for kids kind. A phrase that stuck out:
"If you fill your heart with love, you will never have anything to fear." - Lord Buddha.
it was from the story of devadatta and the elephant nalagiri. often we fear this fear that. and then regret later.

speaking of which, on my way home just now, i had another random thought. i think if i were to die now, i would probably die -touch wood- with no regrets. all my frens are back in s'pore fr uk, us, france, china, etc. i have a wonderful and loving family (not without its normal grouses), a great youth group, even more frens. i m not caught up in the rat race yet. i think if i were to die when i get caught up in the rat race, i will probably regret not having earned more $$$, not havign climbed up the corporate ladder even further. so while i m still young and innocent, shd just enjoy al the attention and love haha. i m goign crazy.

i m going to go to pks tmr to go get the book on karma. remember there was a phrase saying we shd give hugs freely. ya! we shd give hugs more freely. angmohs always hug anyway, why can't we hug too? and i realise i used to give more hugs in 1 year of jc then in the past 2 years. do we give lesser hugs as we grow older? after readign the above phrase, i showed mich and jus gave her a hug on the spot haha. me goign crazy again.

met john chen and laura at bugis today. somehow it seemed like we knew everyone when we were in jc. jon chen looked even slimmer now than when he was a sprinter in sch. we used to joke abt how he was a prefect in charge of hair style when his hair was bad enough. and laura jus came back for summer hols from teh states. see? all my frens r back!